Prologue
Placing the palms gently on the fathers chest mother said “Treat me
gently; I’ve few days left to live!” Dr. Mukul Rustogi has said she could walk
but mother felt weak and tired. Father would however persist; liver transplant
surgery requires her to be active and healthy. The other thing of course, is to
have a liver donor and there had been none!
Usually though anyone healthy enough can be a life donor, Indian
regulation requires it to be blood relative or someone having a long standing
association with the recipient. It restrains the exploitation of the extremely
poor. People from Nepal, Bangladesh and Pakistan come to avail the transplant
facilities in Indian private hospitals, as they have little or no scrutiny,
some paperwork in order and money in asking, likewise Indians travel to South
east countries. Wonder most medical facilities are availed by the affluent who jump borders.
Chapter I
Army takes care
It had been a long illness for the old lady, mostly suffering in silence ...65 years and counting each day! Heredity, they say, gets a huge role
to play when it comes to life threatening illness – “it’s in the genes’ most
doctors thoughtfully conclude after a dozen or more of tests. It her case, I
believe it is half the truth, negligence being the other half of the
truth.
Its bad luck to get an ailment and it’s terrible to get a bad doctor
who is negligent, uninterested or downright unqualified. Father had served in
the army till he retired with honorary rank. His trust in Army as an
establishment is in good faith. He declining the daughters (Multinational IT company) offers to
include their name in her company medical insurance said with a certain pride. “We have ECHS, Army takes
care!”
Mother had sudden bouts of vomits that many times saw her in
military hospital family ward. Her many trysts with various Military hospitals survived her with no complaints. The file on mothers diagnosis, that father
maintained out of military habit, grew thicker every year. It conveyed the
gravity and served as reference to the new doctor on every visit. Lastly
she had been on emergency visits. Doctors have a tough job at hand, but then
there are few kinds: the earnest & dedicated, the reluctant ones and some are in for monkey business.
Chapter II
Physical aversions are just the symptoms
It's a crazy economy.... the last decade, work in oil industry had been
like running on a treadmill in top speed until last year when owing to over
production & oil politics the oil price performed a bungee jump!
It's 'time-out' at the oil patch!
In my quest for money, I had been negligent by my
own accord. I sailed the globe with not much concern. It was only when the oil
industry slumped that I took cognizance, which was quite late in what seems
like prescient disposition of fate.
It is not as much in our physical self, that our
health manifests, but in our emotional, sentimental state. Physical aversions
are just the symptoms. After I had left for a life at sea, parents lived by
themselves in the big house where they had laboured themselves. Students were
rented some of the rooms and served company along with the Labrador Bholu!
Except the ladies of the house Bholu had jabbed
everyone in the family and had grown aggressive towards the end of his days.
Attack by a pack of dogs had got Bholu to his early demise. Mother nursed him
all the time, even in her own ill health.
She got relived - just in time. Bholu crossed over the
rainbow just a few days before she went for a second opinion on her heavily
growing skin rashes.
At the private clinic, the old Dr. Malhotra had
asked her to immediately rush to Delhi for Liver test.
The Mil. Hospt. Doctor had been casually referring
her to the skin specialist who in turn, for last many months, only wrote a new
skin creams on the patients’ medical history notebook and the medical slip.
Past two years she had been a regular visitor to
ECHS medical care centre. The doctors seemed overworked with more than hundred
patients to attend every day, for most of the cases though, they had the
routine medicines. Engrossed in routine, quite likely such doctors lose their
ability to determine between serious and the casual. A doctor with callousness may
even act like being sick of patients themselves.
The anticipated 2 days trip was going to be a more
than 2 years stay in Delhi until she departed after a desperate move to Bengaluru.
Chapter III
Are the ‘other ranks’; at loss of
creditability?
Mother had got black patches and itching all over
her body and lost much weight. The doctor however would routinely refer her to
the Skin specialist at the Military hospital who on every occasion served some
skin ointments. The ECHS paneled private hospital skin specialist additionally
asked her to put on loose cotton and got her more medicines and other
ointments. It was reckless until she came across the old doctor.
ECHS has gone better these days, enlisting many
renowned hospitals. Old army men feel reassured with the ECHS doctors offering
a bouquet of hospital to choose from. Once enlisted, you hardly get much to
choose and so given an option of choice, is flattering! Father selected BL
Kapoor as it is a credible hospital in Delhi. Of the four stages of Liver
damage, mother was in three - no possibility of complete recovery but survival
with medication. This is the extent how far the callousness of a doctor can
push you!
The doctor at BL Kapoor wanted a weekly
consultation, while ECHS doctor would insist on just one every month. This is
an irony of Ex-servicemen contributory health scheme. There are impaneled
hospitals, but there’s no timely redresses in case of ambiguity. It’s a pity!
The Army in such ambiguities leaves the patient in lurch.
It’s difficult for the old to afford a face off
with a system, more so when sick. Mother got moved to the renowned RR Hospital.
It’s a huge hospital complex with some of the best military doctors, medical
and surgical facilities. It is geared well to meet emergencies and fatalities
but when it comes to chronic patients, there’s little patience and concern;
more so if you come from the ‘other ranks’. Are the ‘other ranks’, at loss
of creditability?
The reality often shows a juxtaposition
between the privileged few entitled by the old British monolithic military
structure and the ‘other ranks’. Well! I’m talking of the larger issue at hand.
I
trust we would see correction in our personal administration as new
demographics evolve due to (…. your guess?) technology. Like Army most
traditional organizations imbibe pyramidal structure, so we have abundant
manpower at the bottom that’s usually unskilled or semi-skilled.
Technology
is about to transform the pyramidal manpower structure to somewhat resembling a
diamond shape. It would be a technically able army and like all technical
establishments there would be a lot more manpower at the middle level that
would include engineers, technicians, managers, executives and administrators. There
will be a rapid expansion at the middle while the bottom shrinks.
Then
such discriminatory embarrassment by tradition, would be history. For now, I
suppose the issue needs to be addressed in its proper historical perspective
and colonial influence. It doesn't need any campaign, but readiness to embrace
change and technology.
Chapter IV
Why the doctors don’t explain the
anticipated side effects of medicines they prescribe and why don't we even ask?
Mother had taken the trip to hospital many times. Like
a reluctant patient, she had been always ambivalent about surgery. The doctors
too left it as a last rite of the treatment. She camouflaged her feelings till
finally it sunk in – her survival was upon medicines that kept the liver going.
Father would administer the daily dose of a dozen tablets and capsules.
One such tablet is Wysolone. Most steroids, antibiotics
and other allopathic medications involve side effects, often of serious
concern. Why the doctors don’t explain the anticipated side effects of the
medicines they prescribe leaving the patient in the dark and why don't we even
ask? Is it in good faith or ignorance or a cocktail of both?
Many now days rely on the abundant medicine information
available on internet. Well! one can likewise subscribe to overdose of
information. Yet, to put information into efficient practise requires skill,
knowledge and experience. Only information or its part can be a pitfall. However,
ignorance itself is a virtue for the fools. Internet though cannot yet override
a good doctor, yet, none the least it can fill in for ignorance in face of callousness
in a white gown. The fallacy of not-to-enquire was to be our falling!
With the benefit of hindsight, we understand that generic
medicine Prednisolone (artificial form of otherwise natural corticosteroid
hormone from adrenal gland) with brand name Wysolone,
among others is prescribed for skin disorder with anticipated
usual side effect of stomach gas and the worst side effect of brittle bones only
due to prolonged use in heavy dosage. All the medication maintains circulating
calcium levels at the expense of bone calcium.
For Heartburn and excessive stomach acid, Ocid capsule is administered
along with Wysolone. Again, continuous
intake of Ocid capsule may cause certain side effects such as headache,
hip fracture, itching, muscle cramp, swelling and tingling sensation.
The doctor has to
recommend its correct dosage as side
effects occur and become worse with high doses and prolonged use. The corticosteroid Wysolone prescription had begun at BL Kapoor and continued
uninterrupted at the RR hospital, likewise the Ocid capsule.
It was only when mother got better enough to
undertake a travel to hometown the observant lady doctor at Military hospital
there declined continuation of the medicine citing the side effects. The alarm
buzzed - but late, bones had gone too brittle.
The RR hospital army doctor had failed her!! It was
just a matter of time for her back bone…
Afterthought note: Steriod Wysolone or other brand
names of generic Prednisolone, is in prescription of many doctors, at certain further
stage of (esp. home) Corona treatment.
Chapter V
That’s Goddammit slippery!
Meanwhile brother bought a new apartment at Noida
and parents moved in. They had a new furnished place to themselves.
Mothers’ condition
seemed to be on a better curve of her health index when on a visit to ECHS
Noida, while she tried to get up from the chair, the back bone dislocated. The
backbone dislocated from the bottom and developed a crack on its near top. Seeing
her age and medical condition, it was hard to find a surgeon willing to perform
a back bone surgery.
However, a young surgeon stood up to the task. Mother
now had a new hospital – The Fortis Noida. The name sounds reassuring! The
surgery was painful as she couldn’t be administered anesthesia. Two holes were
drilled on both sides of the crack and supported with a plate; the dislocation
was untouched as it could had been life threatening. She endured and the surgery
succeeded. At such moments of critical injury, a good doctor is no less than
godsend!
Mothers seemed to be reclaiming her health day by
day when on a visit back home she slipped in the bath. Bathroom slips is common
among the old folks nowadays with disastrous consequences. The leg bone joint
to the pelvis, the Acetabulum round socket enabling leg movement had crumpled.
Little prosperity can be that stupid.
Why the modern bath room flooring is
marbled or tiles? That’s Goddammit slippery!
Chapter VI
Ironic, isn't it!
A fracture and a negligent doctor are a grave
tragedy!
Fortis orthopedic serving his notice period won’t
even attend hospital. Fortis reception passed on his contact. He was available
at his in-house clinic.
His new three-story private house in Noida has a
service lift. I helped her out of the our Maruti Alto. It was with considerable
difficulty that mother reached the lift as she, in her broken leg joint bone
condition, had a few steps still to conquer.
The doctor referred her complete bed rest. I left
her hoping she would recover with time.
Much later did I realize that the doctor was
evading surgery. ECHS patients, quite usually have to face such ignominy
as ECHS pays the surgeon just a little fee for surgery, comparing market rates.
Ironic, isn't it!
A few weeks later, the doctor (from home) asked
father to check for the doctor attending in Fortis hospital.
Chapter VII
“We carve to succeed as parents while failing ourselves as children”
Two weeks on bed and mothers condition only
deteriorated. She suffered the ignominy of getting bed ridden. It’s a time when
you are just a passenger lead by the people around you, relying completely on
their prudence and sincerity.
Father has been a worthwhile company all these
years along except you had to bear the loud grumbles of the burden of his unmet
expectations from all but himself. Expectations keep us from friendliness and
happiness.
It’s not the busy but the spare time that kill many
people. Keeping oneself productively or creatively busy is an art of
self-enunciation.
Mother didn’t have anyone to attend her expect her
devoted husband. The children occupied with their lives, wont spare time taking
relief from fathers’ presence, a convenient predisposition, handcrafted to suit
convenience. “We carve to succeed as parents while failing ourselves as
children”.
We grieve in death for we don’t care in life!
Mother one day called me up. Such a shame; it took
a call, for me to take notice!
Happy and relieved to see me, she lay on her bed
with shriveled face and bloated feet. That’s what the steroids, pain killers,
antibiotics do to you and she was taking them by the handful. Some days the
belly tangibly expands.
I referred to my good old classmate orthopedic
surgeon. Only now did I realize the immanency for a bipolar leg joint surgery
and that prolonged bed rest in an advanced age is just lying-in wait to a
looming death.
The gravity of situation finally hit me.
Chapter VIII
Sometimes you lead and other times the life leads you
Post fracture, all this time at bed rest, pain
killers and antibiotics had taken its toll on the Liver and extended its side
effects to the kidney. It baffled me when the Fortis Liver doctor, whom mother
had been visiting regularly for last two years didn’t recognise her name.
Eating out of his round steel tiffin, seated on his
desk, the turbaned Liver specialist looked at me with disdain for interrupting
his meal and chatter.
For mothers bone surgery, the liver specialist has
to concede. Glancing at the test reports, “Her condition of liver, does not
allow surgery” on my insistence he went further, “many old survive long on bed
rest with physiotherapy”.
Such insensitivity could have killed mother and
even hurt him. Someone may lose patience at the face of such inconsideration. We
live not just to die!
The will to live kept mother from falling apart
though there were not many joys in her current state. Sometimes you lead and
other times the life leads you. “It’s okay to be scared till you persist with
the will to fight”.
Chapter IX
“Here’s a Georgian”
It was just in that moment at an instance of
inscrutability that I recollected, meeting classmates in Mumbai, where we came
upon a discussion regarding our school mate, who is a doctor in Noida. I called
Jai in Mumbai!
Walking out of Fortis I enquired on Dr. Mukul at
one of the vacant reception counters. “He is the Fortis Hepatologist and
Gastroenterologist consultant at the 1st floor”. Next morning I
with father went to the last consultation room at Fortis first floor.
The receptionist called in the room – “Here’s a
Georgian”. I was next to see Dr. Mukul Rastogi. Cheerful with adherent looks he
welcomed us, checked the various scans
and reports, and then he spoke slowly, without much pause explaining the
condition on a sheet of paper. The few pregnant pauses stressed on one fact –
the condition is critical!
He called up the hospital orthopedic, “The Surgery
is to be performed!”
Chapter X
ECHS approval for admission…
There were some further tests and an ECHS approval
for admission which may take a week or less.
Mother for the last week had being accompanying us
as she had no company back in the flat and couldn’t be left unattended. The
nice Bengali neighborhood was some help though.
Once called Fortis ambulance and spent more than
two hours - yet didn’t arrive. We carried her on the sofa to the ground floor
and laid her on the Celerio folding rear seat to make resting bed space for her
and at the hospital took her around on the stretcher for her various tests and
doctor visits.
Car 60:40 rear folding seat is of immense use
though we often overlook such simple features. The auto gear car was
brothers’ gift to father when the old Alto gear box botched. Yet shifting
her around had been concerning and often painful.
Mothers’ condition however made her feel a bit of
self-pity, not because her illness that she had braved half of her life, but
the ignominy that’s comes along being bed ridden.
Chapter XI
Procedures are to aid efficiency, not to obstruct or delay.
Correct me if I'm wrong: Procedures are to aid efficiency, not to obstruct or delay.
ECHS procedure is precarious - for every new test
the doctors prescribe, the ECHS doctors’ approval is warranted and for each
approval the patient is to be present. Whoever at the helm laid and approved the ECHS procedures, must have been in love with Red Tape.
The patient in whatever serious condition has to
shuttle between the hospital and the ECHS medical center, which in this case,
spanned a distance of 21 kilometers one way. Inconsiderate procedures persist, though
ECHS itself is going paperless with LAN networking and internet. Why then is it
not that the impaneled hospitals communicate (telephonically or email) for referred
patients?
With old increasingly living isolated lives, how do
such puerile procedures help the elderlies in the face of illness?
Mothers has been a generation in transition, many
ladies led a rather sedentary lifestyle. The new found struggles of making a
living in a town or city, mostly didn’t require much physical action. Housewives
in the new found nuclear families didn’t have health awareness or much
activity.
In a way the prevailing social order was driving
women in profound unhealthy ways that on coming to age, got caught unaware on
their health issues.
Chapter XII
Why private Hospitals
are administered by hotel management crew?
Half a day would be spent at ECHS for
approval of various recommended test by Fortis and other half in undergoing the
tests. The blood test pointed on Kidney issues along with liver – Bilirubin and
Jaundice.
The anesthesiologist referred further
neurology tests. The young neurologist sounded emphatic, “please keep the door
open so she doesn’t feel lonely”. It was
already 4:15pm, till father reached ECHS for referral on neurology test, it was
closed.
A young lady responsible to assign beds
for patents on doctor’s recommendation was thoroughly ignoble. She couldn’t
comprehend a doctor’s report, leave apart the urgency or criticality of
patient. I suspected her slightest understanding of medical field where she was
employed. Turns out she is a hotel management graduate.
Why on earth, private Hospitals are administered by
hotel management crew?
It had been raining patients, dengue
took over Delhi and NCR. All hospital beds were taken, some patents were being attended
on recliners and chairs. With so much inflow of private medical insurance
clients, ECHS patents were a relegated to fate.
The young lady authorized for assigning
hospital beds, is only qualified for booking hotel rooms instead. She goes by
her hotelier ethics… obviously with top management direction and consent. On
the face of it even the hospital doctor cant persist. That’s an irony and a
shame!
Chapter XIII
“it’s a high-risk
surgery, we’ll wait until day after tomorrow”.
No hospital bed was available for the
old ECHS lady while a week passed by in despair.
We worked out a workaround instead.
Morning at 3:30 called for the hospital ambulance. It turned up in around 5.
The staff was nice and brought the stretcher. ...up till now we would help
mother lay on the sofa and we carried her on the sofa to the lift and then to
the car.
After the emergency ward she was admitted
in the lobby ward. There were makeshift beds with curtains on the lobby corner
of the hospital. Later in the day she was moved to the general ward.
Again, a classmate came to my aid. The
SP was kind to call upon and enquire. Late night mother was moved in the
semi-private ward which otherwise is her ECHS entitlement. I stayed along with
her.
Dr. Mukul closely monitored her
progress and her Liver and Kidney test results in a week she was almost just
good enough for a surgery. Mother all this time had been insisting on an early
surgery. She has grown quite restless, bedridden so long!
“On a range of A to C, she is on the
lower side of B now” Dr. Mukul said with measured optimism. Evening on his
second visit, our Ortho-on-duty expressed his reservation, “it’s a high-risk
surgery, we’ll wait until day after tomorrow”.
Younger brother had been in Delhi
occupied with his shoots and the new found textile enterprise with his finance.
For the first time since admission, he turned up. Mother had been awaiting and
asking for him all these days. Is it us, our work, prolonged illness,
intrusiveness or just the woman in our life that make us so disdainful?
Introspecting on my hospital mattress seat next to mother, I realise I myself
have had it all. For rest of her time in the hospital, I stayed put along her.
Nothing else was any important at this moment!
Chapter XIV
Sometimes you’ve to
stand up to confront the wretchedness of situation.
The ECHS procedure in the hospital
required her to be discharged and readmitted for surgery thereafter. While time
being her liver and kidney were stable, the surgery was to be immediately
performed. The concern though was that once discharged the hospital (hotel)
administration can not commit her a hospital bed.
It was with such apprehension,
resentment and anger, I along with father walked up to the ECHS cell at the far
end of the lobby on the 1st floor of the hospital. At 10 am a lot of
people were awaiting their turn for doctor consultation on the hospital 1st
floor long stretched lobby.
While father presented him the case,
the hospital ECHS cell in charge was persistent on the hospital ECHS policy, “she
has to be discharged, for re admission talk to ho(spi)te(/a)l” administration”.
His point was ECHS doesn’t pay for
back-to-back treatments / surgery. There has to be separate admissions with s
significant interval and he won’t consider anything beyond the text book.
Sometimes you’ve to stand up to confront the
wretchedness of situation. After a long silence I stood up. It was not
to be a talk neither a conversation but confrontation! One cannot talk it
through insensitivity or absurdity.
It must have been a loud heated argument; I didn’t
realize until the hospital ECHS in-charge rushed out of his cabin shooting
through the lobby where many among the visitors stood up facing the ECHS cell.
The otherwise bustling lobby now stood in a long pause of motion with silence.
Chapter XV
Awesome to
see her walk.
The hospital ECHS cell in charge took a
while to return back to his cabin. He sounded polite this time around, “You may
think we don’t want to help, in fact we do”.
Mother was to be discharged late night.
Readmitted same time as a private patent, discharged in the morning and
admitted through ECHS for the morning surgery.
The surgery went well while she
retained her semi private room. After a
week the doctor advised her to walk with support. It was so awesome to see her
walk yet with father or the physiographist help on the walker. On any usual day
we take among many other blessings, our ability to walk, for granted!
With physiotherapy she was finally able
to walk out of the hospital in about three weeks. After father helped her with
her bath and breakfast, I would take her to the society lawn to get some sun.
She sometimes talked for a while and other time just steered around.
Mother was doing better each day. I
left her when my family turned up to pay her a visit. Soon thereafter I left
abroad for work, to return in between. Mother was in ICU.
Chapter XVI
Daughter & sons.
On weekends, Sonee was flying in from
Bengaluru to check on mother. I was abroad and Anand was yet mostly unavailable
while Mother got admitted in ICU. She was on glucose, oxygen and tube feeding. After
much observation, I realize daughter are the same things as sons, except that
they are empathetic too. Wretched are the people who don’t care enough of
daughters.
It was her fifth day in ICU when I
arrived. Owing to demonetisation the ATM were out of cash. Anand booked the Cab
for me. Later we drove to Fortis. The oxygen mask has been replaced by the
oxygen pipe in the ICU. Mother speaks blurrily and runs in and out of
consciousness due to medication.
My family too arrived, ICU visiting
timing were limited to a hour in morning and one hour in evening for two at a
time, so it was just wait, watch and pray. Liver cirrhosis had advanced to its
last stage. The post-surgery medication had been hard on her liver. Dr. Mukul
was trying his best and lately recommended a liver transplant. Due to the
advance stage it had to be the same blood group. Among the kith and kin, we are
B+ve while she is Ove.
Against hope, awake late one night, I wrote a post:
“A LIVER DONATION from only 'O+ve' blood group is
urgently required at Fortis Noida.
There usually is an inhibition on liver donation. A
small part (bigger than biopsy though), is extracted and transplanted, in 4 to
6 weeks it's grows back to its normal size.
Consultation with any liver specialist will help to
check out on risks, facts & myths. Dr. Mukul, Liver specialist is the
consulting doctor at Fortis Noida.
So, if you may have a lead or any worthwhile
suggestion, do come up! If it is so expected, donor will be compensation in
kind.
Also pls. feel free to share & re-post! Take
care!”
In earlier days, we hear, people were
apprehensive of blood donation. now a days …not anymore so! Liver donation is
yet in its early days… some day in future, with advance in medical sciences, its
awareness, no more would it be so.
My doctor classmate friend conferred,
“going through the blade at this juncture of advance illness, may not be worth
the effort, risk, pain, money and resources in terms of life extension and
quality of life thereafter”.
As meeting time in ICU was restricted
and we had quite many people at hand, father suggested me and Anand to head to
village for prayers to family deities (ishth). Also, same blood group may be
available in mother’s bloodline at her hill village - Bajel! The donor is to be
among one’s family.
Chapter XVII
Kainchi dhaam baba Neem
Karori ashram.
Owing to demonetarisation, Anand had to
drive to ATM in the night at 2 AM. Internet is yet largely unavailable in the
hills, lest to mention net banking. 2K can be withdrawn from a card in a day. Credit
card withdrawals that’s cost extra bucks too undertaken, lest one runs out of
cash and internet on a remote hill side road.
After collecting cash from ATM, two
consecutive nights, we drove to the hills. First night at Nanital. Next morning
as we’re approaching Neem Karori baba ashram, Anand mentioned of Steve jobs and
on his recommendation, Bill gates visiting here. I just thought he wanted a tea
break after a long yesterday’s drive.
It may be coincidence, that would
reoccur, just after our visit (darshan) as we walked to Anands, Thar jeep, he
received a call from father, “talk to mother”. Mother was quite audible and
talked of herself getting well. It was a great sign to hear her out so clearly
after all her time in ICU.
We made our stay in a hotel room at
Someshwar market. Father had called up our relations in advance. They acted not
to recognise or understand us anymore. Mothers’ cousin Anand turned up. He was
with us for most of our next four days in the valley. We went ahead with our
prayers (pooja paath) at the family village yet makeshift temple. Back in the
past father had spotted the place on the hill a little above the last top house
and place a round stone, which now the family worships.
The hotel owner is a local old-time
politician. His saw his son on return to the hotel and told him of the liver
transplant. He was straightforward, “I’ve lot of poor labourers, how much money
will be for him?”
Next, we went around the temples of
Bajel, mothers’ parental home. Anand mama family was at some marriage
and as we’re late they were just returning. Poori paakak was prepared in haste.
Food is organic and taste good. Again, being late the hotel was locked and we
had to drive back to Bajel for a night stay at mothers village.
We
spent one more day visiting Chetrapal ashram, villagers are contributing labour for some upcoming
construction there! The pujari here is from Madras. These remote temples and
ashrams are strange places. During the hindu festival of Navratras, many of
these places host jagratas (night of awakening). It is believed these places
are concentric centres of supernatural energy during those festive nights.
On
return we made it a point to visit baba Neem karori ashram. I wasn’t expecting
any miracle though. As we walked to Anands, Thar jeep, just after
our darshan, Anand received a call from father, “She is getting soon out of
ICU”. Mother voice too was little louder and much clear.
Chapter XIX.
Ward room.
In the ICU mother complained, “The
nurse doesn’t listen especially the night watch”. It’s good that she has got
rid of the oxygen pipe and is conscious. On father’s complaint the male
attendant politely contested. Though that may be the standard prescribed
response to such complains, I hoped that a complain will at least make them
conscious on their duty.
After our return on the fourth day, she
was shifted to a semi private ward room on the fifth floor (5120B). One day
delay was due to non-availability of a hospital bed, or that’s what the
ho(spi)ta(/e)l bed administrator Shivani said. I moved in the ward before mother
while Heema left for her house, “children’s studies, you see”. Though at school
its winters vacation.
Anand and Santwana arrived late in the
evening and did mothers hairs. She must have been longing and now pleased.
Mother towards the conclusion of her
physiotherapy session would walk around the room on her walker with
physiotherapist help. It was nice to see her back on her feet.
Chapter XIX
Adieu Fortis.
Mother every year was the one to remind
us on birthdays, not this year though. Sonee b’day falls on 22 Dec, though
lately she celebrates it a day later; likely her fancy zodiac sign.
I got its F’book update and recorded a mother’s birthday wish for her. She
looked weak but clearly audible. It was to be her last birthday greeting!
16 days in ICU and her third day in the
ward, she was discharged. Dr. Mukul however said, “Try for a liver donor and just
in case there’s a donor, as Liver transplant in Fortis is not covered by ECHS,
keep 22 Lakhs towards hospital liver transplantation fee,”. Moving mother out
of the hospital, I could not have thanked Dr. Mukul enough.
Early morning, I saw some blood stains
on mother’s bedsheet below her face on the side. As I turned mother to the
other side, it was a quite a blood puddle. On her wrist the glucose bottle
injection pipe cover had opened and blood trickled out of it. Mother was still
asleep while the nurse brought new sheets and soon changed the bedsheet. More
glucose was injected.
Mother didn’t wish to leave hospital so
soon, I believe she didn’t wish to be a burden in the house, she felt reassured
at the hospital and the care being bedridden was good. After noon mother bid
adieu to Fortis on her wheel chair in silence. Though I knew neither Heema nor
Anand will turn up to attend her but I only hoped her to feels secure and well
cared in the apartment. On the brighter side Sonee was flying in from Bengaluru
this weekend.
Mothers last two years ECHS hospital
bills for her surgery and the long-drawn Liver treatment in Delhi and NCR amounted
to more than 20 lakhs. Expect for the inefficient procedures and though I’d
expect ECHS to revise its private hospital treatment rates to match up with
private health insurances so private hospitals wont disdain ECHS; yet at the moment,
one could’ve not asked anymore. I can only be thankful, I hope ECHS standards
raise up to its good men honour and military prestige!
Chapter XXI
Bengaluru.
After father helped
her with her bath and breakfast, I would take her to the society lawn to get
some sun. She sometimes talked for a while and other time just steered around
the society park and plantation.
Sonee was a sunshine
in the December winter season. She arranged a video consultation with a Liver
specialist from hospital in Bengaluru. He asked mother to take a little walk in
her room and stated, “it’s her last stage, get her to Bengaluru”.
Sonee wished mother
to come along to Bengaluru as hospital facilities were better down south and
also any chance of liver donation. Evening we decided to get a word from Dr.
Mukul. I asked mother to be seated in the car while I opened the its hatch. She
couldn’t support herself and fell off her walker at the rear door. It was naïve
of me not to realise her weakness. Again, at Fortis I almost scolded her for
taking the hospital stretcher and moved her to the wheel chair. Seeing her
standing strong all these years, I couldn’t fathom how weak she had rapidly
become. It’s my remorse, as I’d not previous witnessed such severe physical
weakness and was disabled to comprehend the frailty.
Dr. Mukul earlier was
reluctant for mother to leave, but this time readily gave consent. Sonee
arranged for a doctor to travel along in flight through Medanta hospital
airport assistance services. Anand booked the flight tickets. Being a frequent
flyer, I was able to get two business class seats for father and mother to
Bengaluru with air miles. Heema lastly was called upon to deliver my seat
upgrade voucher that was back home.
Anand had a pooja
function at his new Sahapur jat, Delhi office before he turned up to visit
mother at his Noida apartment. Soon
later Heema turned up with children, a day before mothers’ departure. It was
the 1st of January 2017.
The ambulance to
airport came in time at 6. We trailed the ambulance in the winter morning fog
though our driver couldn’t keep up. The doctor got delayed and also the Medanta
airport ambulance. There were a few tense moments. Before mother left in the
airport ambulance, she raised her hand in blessing. That was the last, we saw
her.
Only once she had
asked, “Deepu, are you not coming”. In the four BHK, already there were her
aging in-laws, husband and little kids. With our parents sharing the space, it
would get inconvenient, considering the modern living aloofness and space
crunch. Maybe that’s my inhibition, I hope so. I anyways will make myself
available, on a call.
The flight was
delayed till mother boarded. Sonee too got an upgrade. God gracious!
After the flight was
confirmed airborne, I with family drove back home. Anand and Santawana too left
to their upcoming textile design workshop cum office. Today was to be the last
time the family was together.
Chapter XXII
Responsibility is not
a matter of convenience.
I’m proud of Sonee for her care and
concern in our desperate time of mother ailment. She was making arrangements
for a long haul, packing Noida bed, bedding and father’s car to be couriered to
Bengaluru.
Sonee has her office to attend too, so did wish me
to come along. Responsibility is not a matter of convenience. I didn’t want her
home to be crowded and father too is along. On flight was alright but the same
evening her blood pressure dropped. At Manipal hospital she got two bottles of
blood and was discharged on the third day.
Sonee then went to ECHS, Command hospital there.
The military doctor was quite emphatic, likely they understand the gravity of
her medical report, unlike Noida ECHS docs.
Chapter XXIII
Rameswaram - the last
Journey.
On 6th night we
were driving through the winter fog to Delhi airport. 1:30 am father had
called, “Mother unable to breathe, taking to hospital”. He called Anand next, “Mother
is no more ...breathing” “what does it mean” Anand queried! “She is dead!”
Sonee called me sobbing, I was calm though. Lalit
arranged for a driver, at 4:30 am we were driving through the winter fog to
Delhi airport. Initially I planned to go alone, but likely few people are
socially tuned to care more after demise. I travelled with family this time.
Anand and his fiancée arrived ahead of us.
Aarav was cheerful till now, but once the flight
took off, he was cried instantly till we’re mid-air.
It was an hour more by Uber. Mothers body lay in an
electrically cooled glass box. Heema draped her with a sari and placed
garlands. The saddest sight of my life!
I and the ambulance driver carried her body on the
stretcher as the glass box horizontally won’t pass through the apartment door.
As the driver went to get the ambulance near the lift side, mother body for a
while on the stretcher lay on the lift floor. It felt a long moment of
desolation.
At the toll, the Innova arrived, we drove behind
the mortuary van to Rameswaram, 10 hours night drive! Father stayed on the
Mortuary van; he didn’t wish to leave mother alone in her last journey. Rest of
the us though didn’t exhibit much emotional disposition.
Chapter XXIV
Last rites.
Father was inconsolable, still talking loud to
mother and isth (family gods). He came along to the sea side crematory.
Bengali ashram in charge (swami) and the
crematorium owner sanyasi, claimed to follow no rituals, so they enquired us,
if we were to carry on any ritual. Myself and Anand got hair shaven and dhotis.
Anand bought an earthen pitcher. Mothers body laid
on the pyre, I carried the pitcher round the pyre, dripping water and lighting
the pyre. It felt a grip of sadness when the old sanyasi too over the light. It
was our last sight of mother. All these years, she prayed for us, now it was
us.
Father stayed outside the crematorium. Bengali
ashram in charge (swami) had a small chat with father he came complaining,
“pind daan nahi kiya, you sent mother in her final journey hungry”. Later we’re
preparing rice and floor balls with father and there the balls (pind) in the
pyre. It was hot to walk barefoot.
I realised the ‘F’ word westerns use so common in
films and their usual vocabulary for resentment or apathy, in India we instead
use ‘Shiva’ or ‘Rama’. Spirituality
imbibes humility in usual lives!
The Bengali ashram swami then took Sonee and
Anand to some local panda, who asked for rather high charges and pooja
and few hours of pooja paath (prayers). We discarded the pandas’
pooja as we’d had to leave early as feasible. Father was annoyed.
Lunch at the Bengali ashram was nice and simple. While
Sonee went for the death certificate, Saturday afternoon the registrar office
had closed. Me and swami to collect the ashes, went back to the crematorium.
Though I couldn’t reflect on his feeling, swami was happy that the body
had burnt well. Likely when you witness crematorium activity quite usually, you
are no more apathetic to death.
Anand too joined me in cooling the ashes with sea
water. We placed the bone remains and ashes in the two earthen and a brass pot.
The metal ball leg joint from surgery was too discovered. I placed it in the
brass pot to be taken to Haridwar. Earthen pots we emptied in the sea.
Father wished to prolong his stay but the Bengali
ashram swami was reluctant citing ashram guidelines, “cultural difference and
strict rules”. At 5 Pm, 12 hours since our arrival, we left.
Usually, Aayushi is road travel sick and it had
been a long trip but she had been alright, neither of us felt weary. Maybe it
occurs when emotions are thick. On our Rameshwaram trip, we stopped for meals
at fine highway restaurants. It mostly was not gloomy or tiresome. May be our
last resting place is pre-ordained.
